“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all populations throughout time. Wait, I’m sorry, that’s not right. I was confusing a brick with a blanket. It’s a blanket that could be used for all those things.
”
― Jarod Kintz
“A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before you know it, your window will look so clean you’d think it had been replaced with a new one.
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― Jarod Kintz
“A brick could be placed in the center of a silver platter, surrounded by leafy green garnishes to compliment the red of the brick, and frozen for the next time you have the in-laws over for dinner. I’d recommend eating before they arrive, because I’m not sure you’ll want to have any of the “meatloaf” you’ll be serving them.
”
― Jarod Kintz
“A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present.
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― Jarod Kintz
“I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity.
”
― Jarod Kintz
“A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling.
”
― Jarod Kintz
“A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cotton popsicle by prisoners of a gulag, who might consider this a tasty treat compared to what they normally eat.
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― Jarod Kintz
“A blanket can be a statement—a generalization and truism covering a multitude of categories, like corruption, ineptitude, ignorance, arrogance, greed, and sloth—which would all fall under the blanket of “Politics.”
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― Jarod Kintz
“A brick could be affixed to each end of an axle, for an example of transportation in a pre-wheel society.
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― Jarod Kintz
“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
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― Jarod Kintz
“A blanket could be used as a duvet, in the fight against elitism.
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― Jarod Kintz
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